When You Lose Your Mother: The Psychological Impact of Grief | Seanna Crosbie, LCSW-S – Therapist in Austin, Texas & California
The Silence That Follows Loss
Grief has a way of sneaking up on you. One moment, you’re going about your day, and the next, a scent, a song, or a familiar phrase stops you cold. You reach for the phone to tell your mom something trivial—a grocery store sale, a funny memory, a question about a childhood recipe—only to remember she’s not there. The silence that follows is deafening.
As a therapist, I have sat with many clients navigating the loss of their mothers. Some lost them suddenly, others after long illnesses. Some had close, loving relationships, while others carried complicated histories. No matter the circumstances, losing a mother reshapes the landscape of your life, leaving an emptiness that can feel impossible to fill.
The Psychological Impact of Losing a Mother
The loss of a mother is unlike any other. She is often the first relationship we ever know, the person who shaped our earliest sense of safety and love. When she’s gone, the grief can manifest in deep and lasting ways.
Common psychological effects include:
Intense waves of grief – Sudden bursts of sadness, longing, or anger that feel overwhelming.
Anxiety and insecurity – A loss of stability or an increased fear of losing others.
Depression and emotional numbness – Feeling disconnected, fatigued, or struggling to find joy.
Guilt and regret – Wishing you had said more, done more, or appreciated her differently.
Identity shifts – Feeling unmoored, especially if she was your primary support system.
When Grief Becomes Complicated
For some, the loss of a mother can lead to complicated grief, a prolonged and intense mourning period that interferes with daily life. This is especially common when the relationship was strained, unresolved, or deeply enmeshed. Signs of complicated grief include:
Persistent longing and an inability to accept the loss
Avoidance of anything that reminds you of her
Numbness or detachment from others
Intense anger, resentment, or guilt that doesn’t ease over time
If you recognize these signs in yourself, you’re not alone. Therapy can help you navigate the depths of your grief, allowing space for healing while still honoring your mother’s memory.
Grieving the Mother You Didn’t Have
Not everyone had a nurturing, loving mother. If your relationship was distant, painful, or toxic, grief can feel even more complex. You may mourn not just her loss, but also the mother you never had—the one you longed for but never received. It’s okay to grieve in your own way, even if it doesn’t fit the traditional mold of loss.
You’re Not Alone in This
Losing your mother changes you. It’s a grief that doesn’t follow a straight path, but rather ebbs and flows, surprising you in quiet moments and shaping who you become. But in time, grief shifts. The pain doesn’t disappear, but it softens, making room for memories, love, and even joy.
If you are struggling with the loss of your mother, know that healing is possible. Therapy can help you navigate the pain, process complicated emotions, and find ways to carry her memory forward in a way that brings peace.
About the Author
Seanna Crosbie, LCSW-S, is a licensed therapist based in Austin, Texas, offering telehealth therapy across California. With over 25 years of experience, she specializes in grief and loss, trauma, anxiety, and healing from complex relationships. Seanna provides compassionate, evidence-based therapy to help clients move through grief and reclaim their sense of self. Feel free to contact Seanna here.
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