How to Talk to Your Doctor About Perimenopause & Menopause: Advice from a Therapist | Seanna Crosbie, LCSW-S Therapist in Austin, Texas & California

The Moment You Start Wondering: Is It Just Me?

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a woman sit across from me in therapy and say something like:

"I don’t feel like myself anymore."
"I snap at my family over nothing, and I don’t know why."
"I can’t sleep, I’m anxious all the time, and I keep gaining weight even though I’m doing everything the same."

One client told me she burst into tears in a grocery store parking lot because she couldn’t remember where she parked. Another said she felt like she was living in someone else’s body, wondering why no one warned her about this stage of life.

The truth? You are not alone, and you are not imagining this. But too often, women go to their doctor or healthcare provider seeking answers and instead hear:
- "It’s just stress."
- "It’s normal for your age."
- "You just need to lose weight and exercise more."

Know What You’re Experiencing

Your body is speaking to you—let’s make sure you have the language to describe what’s happening.

Some common perimenopause and menopause symptoms you might bring up with your doctor:

✔ Sleep disturbances (waking up at 3 a.m. wired and exhausted)
✔ Mood swings, anxiety, or depression that feel unpredictable
✔ Brain fog and memory issues (Why did I walk into this room again?)
✔ Hot flashes or night sweats (Waking up drenched in sweat isn’t fun.)
✔ Weight changes (especially around the midsection)
✔ Fatigue that won’t go away
✔ Joint pain or muscle stiffness
✔ Changes in libido or vaginal dryness

When meeting with your provider, be specific, Instead of saying, “I feel off,” try:
“I wake up 4-5 times a night and feel exhausted all day.”
”I feel sudden waves of anxiety that I’ve never had before.”
“I’m having night sweats so intense I have to change my sheets.”

Choose the Right Doctor (or Advocate for Yourself)

Not all doctors are well-versed in menopause care. If your concerns are dismissed, you deserve better.

Look for a menopause-informed doctor – Some OB-GYNs and even endocrinologists pecialize in perimenopause and hormone health. Check out the Menopause Society for specialists.
Ask about their approach – Before booking, ask: “How do you typically support women in perimenopause?” If they don’t, keep looking.
Bring research or symptom tracking – A symptom journal or articles from trusted sources can back up your concerns.

One client told me, “I had to see three doctors before one finally took me seriously, but it was worth it.” Your health is worth advocating for. There are compassionate, menopausal-informed healthcare providers out there.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve to Be Heard

If you’ve been gaslit, dismissed, or told “That’s just part of aging,” I want you to hear this loud and clear:

- You are not overreacting.
- You are not being dramatic.
- You are not alone.

Perimenopause and menopause are real, and they deserve real attention. Advocate for yourself, demand better care, and find the support you need.

If you’d like mental health support through your perimepause or menopause, journey, contact me here.

Seanna Crosbie, LCSW-S